SIDEMEN TINDER IN REAL LIFE #matchurl

SIDEMEN TINDER IN REAL LIFE #matchurl

25.Jun.2021

Yoh, oh my God, no way,
it's another Sidemen Tinder video.
But this time, it's a YouTube edition!
Oh my God, I'm so excited ahh, wait, pause the video.
Before we continue 50% of you
watching aren't even subscribed to us.
What are you doing? Huh?
If we don't get 10 million subscribers this year then,
it's over.
No more Sidemen videos, is that what you want?
Well, if it's not, then subscribe!
Or else we ain't doing any more of these.
So, scroll down a little bit, and subscribe!
Also the discount code is Tinder.
Also all the Instagrams of the girls are down below.
Yeah, I know you're all smiling, you dirty dogs.
All right, let's go.
- Hi, I'm Becky I'm 21 and I'm from Wales.
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26.
And let me show you a magic trick.
Do you have any money with you right now?
- Obviously not. - Okay.
- Okay, luckily I always have money
- Okay. - with me.
All right you see that? - Yes.
- Do you guys see this? Okay, all right, okay, okay.
You see that?
- I do. - Okay, all right.
I'm going to reinvent and multiply this,
right in front of your eyes.
- Right. - You ready?
Okay, let me say the magic words, I'm rich.
(all laugh)
- [Becky] You dropped some, oh.
(all laugh)
- Ta da!
- Oh, you know what? I mean, if I could keep that,
that is a yes. - Yes.
- Judging by the fact you've just thrown money at me,
and you made my career, go on, yes.
This is good.
- I think I created that from you too.
I mean it was like, flowing, like just fucking overhand.
I'm so sorry. - You're wealthy,
you're wealthy, Jesus.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 24.
And what the, oh fuck, I fucked up already.
All right.
(all jeer)
- Newbie, newbie, newbie.
- Composure. - Yeah, breathe.
- Okay, hi I'm Callum, I'm 24.
And if I flip a coin, what are the chances I get head?
- I mean, from the coin 50/50.
Not from me though, I'm sorry.
- Hi, I'm Toby, I'm 26,
and I have an obsession with wearing suits.
I'll look for any excuse.
- [Becky] I love that, is that it?
- That's it, that's it. - Go on then, smart boy.
(all laugh)
- You are? - I'm Simon,
I'm 27, and I bet I can touch your belly button,
from the inside.
- Simon!
- You winced when you said that.
You're like I don't wanna do this.
- I got it?
- It's a no, I'm sorry. - Ah!
- Talia, I love you.
- I'm Vik, I'm 24, and I could teach you a thing or two
about writing a good diss track,
'cause, I'll be honest, you need it.
- About my dis track? Wait, that took time.
- You roasted her?
- I'm not happy, go on.
I'll learn one about you next.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27. - Hello.
- Are you Dumbledore? 'Cause you're like a headmaster?
- Oh Jesus. - Oh Josh, no.
- Frey, what do you see in him, man?
(all laugh)
- Oh God. - No, I'm not so.
- I'm telling you. - Hello, I'm Harry, I'm 23.
Damn, you look out of this world,
'cause you got a big head like an alien.
- [Becky] And your book's upside down and everything.
- Oh. - Come on, get.
You're excited then.
- Hi, I'm Steven but you can call me tank,
because I love the taste of women.
- Oh my God, oh my God. - Sick.
- [Becky] I don't get it.
- Oh, it's gonna be a long day.
- What is it with this room?
Why is it always in this room?
Every time. - Oh shit.
- I'm not involved, I'm not involved.
- I get it now. - I do not approve of that.
- Steven, - Yes.
- It's a no from me, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, Becky a savage. - Becky a savage.
- I'm Callem, I'm 27 and I heard that
poems go down really well, so I got Harry to write me one.
- No, no, no.
- This is all on you Harry.
- Roses are red, JJ's penis is bigger, but let's not forget
that he is a massive public figure
and that would obviously make it really hard to date him.
So, you should swipe right on me.
- Nice.
- Okay, that's fine, wait.
Okay, you've read that very nicely.
- [Callum] Thank you. - Yeah, so it's a yes.
It's a yes. - Thank you.
- That was lovey. - Yeah, welcome brother.
- Hello, sir. - Hello, I'm Ethan.
I'm 24, from London.
I could be your Bambino bazinga.
- Did you just take it out in the line?
Go on then.
- What? Oh my God. - Yes.
- Okay, I'm I done? - Let's go boys.
- I'm marking myself.
- Becky, Becky, you can keep it by the way.
- You're joking? - I'm chill, yeah.
- No, you're not. - Yes, I'm serious, it's fine.
Stop stealing the money.
- Hi, I'm Jordan, I'm 21 and I'm from Salisbury.
- Hello, I'm Callem, I'm 27
and I wanna put my VV in your Chichi.
- What has happened?
What is happening? - Oh my God.
- [Jordan] That's a whole lot for me.
- Swipe right, sign the King. - It's only Wednesday, babes.
It's only a Wednesday.
All right, sorry, sorry. - I tried.
- You tried, A for effort.
- My name's Vik, I'm 24
and I can see you have good taste, so.
- Thank, yeah, sure right, go, easy.
- All right.
- Hello, I'm Harry, I'm 23.
Do you have the Corona virus
'cause I can't stopped looking at you?
(all laugh)
- A for effort, that was a good one, that was a good one.
That was a good one, yeah. - Yes.
- That was a good one, fair play, fair play, fair play.
- Hi, I'm Stephen.
Do you get notified when I upload?
'Cause you've certainly turned my bell on.
(guys laugh)
- I feel like I might have had that one before.
I'm not gonna lie. - Oh.
- Sorry. - From who?
- Stealing jokes? - From who? I'm sorry.
Sorry, that was just a little bit too.
- It's just the ears, isn't it, that's all.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
You've got boyfriend, right?
- Correct.
- When you're ready for a man friend,
you know where I am.
- Oh, oh. - Oh, fucking hell no.
- Oh my God.
- That is madness. - Jeez, jeez.
- Absolutely not, go, go, go, go, go.
- Hi, I'm Toby, I'm 26 and
I'm on my way to a wedding after this but I currently,
have no one to go with, so.
- So, you say you've really made an effort.
I love that, absolutely, absolutely.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25.
How about you sit on my lap
and we talk about the first thing that pops up?
- I tried to keep a straight face and I just couldn't.
You did make me laugh but,
it was a bit too dad jokey for me but it's,
sorry, sorry. - Dad joke?
- What dad jokes are you into? - That's okay.
- Is your dad doing all these? - That was like
a Google search, that was a Google search.
- I'm Ethan, I'm 24.
I recently watched Joe Valentine's day Try On.
I finally masturbated for the first time in six months.
- Oh my God, Jesus.
- No, I was waiting for someone to say something about that.
I was like, that was probably your sponsor, fair enough.
- Jesus Christ. - Please.
- I mean actually,
to be fair play that you did your research but,
that wasn't post for that reason, sorry.
- I'm Simon, I'm 27, and we should go halves on a baby.
- Wow, straight to the point.
Talk about staying straight with this.
- [Simon] Yes.
- Go on, go on, go on. - Yeah.
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 25.
And are you at shock
because I've got some swimmers for you to.
(guys jeer)
- Can I try again?
- You can absolutely try again.
You can pretend that just didn't happen right.
It's fine, it's fine.
- I beat Logan Paul.
(all laugh)
- Go on, go on.
(all cheer)
- Hi, I'm Chi With A C.
- How old are you? - 19.
- Where you from? - Kent.
- [Interviewer] Kent.
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26.
And if you've never said the word (beep)in your life
swipe right?
- Oh - Yeah.
Yeah, there we go.
(all laugh)
nice.
- I'm Simon, I'm 27.
Chi With A C, they call me Simon with a semi.
- Up? - Ey, that's a super like,
that's a super like.
- Super like, ey. - I'm over here now, yeah?
- Wow.
- Hello? - Hello.
- I'm Callem, I'm 27.
Chi With A C. - Yes.
- More like, Chi with my d inside her.
- Oh no. - Jesus.
- So, he gets away with it?
He gets super liked. - I went up
- I'm Ethan, I'm 24.
If you sleep with me, I can get your least 30,000 followers.
It's not much, but it's honest work.
(all laugh)
- I'm Vik, I'm 24.
And if you swipe right,
I'll subscribe to your YouTube channel.
- Okay.
- Fuck you, man. - Really, that's 30,000, one.
- Hello.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25, and I'll subscribe as well.
- Oh, perfect, go on. - Okay.
I just needed one yes, bro, it's a hustle, it's a hustle.
- Hi, I'm Harry.
Are you from Iraq? 'Cause you need to Bag dad dad ass up.
(guys laugh)
- [Harry] I tried it, I tried it.
- Oh, yeah okay. - Yeah, come on.
- Yeah man, I got it. - I'm sorry.
- I'll be there soon, don't worry.
Hi, I'm Steven.
You can call me Virgin Wi-Fi
'cause I'll go down on you all the time, and I'm a Virgin.
- Same. - Yes, oh my God.
- Hi, I'm Toby. - Hello.
- I'm 26 and I've just come back from a funeral.
- Oh, that's it? Oh, bad, wow.
- Don't make it any worse.
(guys cheer)
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm old, or I'm I?
(all jeer)
- Your age is in it? Wow.
You took one subscriber, over my D.
- Yeah. - Suck it up.
- How about your idea? - Yeah.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I'm Emily Canham, I'm 22 and I'm from Northamptonshire.
- Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27 and
Ali White's a bit of a weirdo, ain't he?
- What? How's that of any relevance?
No, no.
(all laugh)
- What's going on?
- [Simon] I just thought I just go
and put it into the water.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
Out of all your curves, your smile's my favourite.
- Oh, that's actually really cute, yeah, go for it, why not?
- Oh. - Easy, dog.
- Yeah, that's cute. - Bro.
- My name's Vic, I'm 24.
We'd probably need a stepladder to make this work.
So, feel free to swipe left.
- I mean, it's cute, but yeah, no, sorry, not gonna work.
(Toby knocks)
Hey.
- I'm Toby, I'm 26 and I'm a Jehovah's witness so,
swipe right if you wanna save money at Christmas
and annoy your neighbours.
- I mean, I love your outfit. - Thank you.
- I like the vibe.
- Would you like to accept the Lord Jesus as your saviour?
(all laugh)
- I think you're a bit short, sorry.
(all jeer)
- I'm Ethan, I'm 24, and now I'm six foot.
- Really? I still don't think you are though, I'm sorry.
- Jesus.
- Got a book? Anyone got a book?
- Anyone got a book? - You got another book.
- Not the Bible.
- I can't stand on the Bible, I cannot stand on the Bible.
- Are you on your tiptoes? I still don't think,
oh, you got another book. - Here you go.
- And now I'm six foot.
- But, I'm I well allowed to wear heels when we go out
or not?
That's a no, I can't do insecurity, come on, no.
- I don't want 'em.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25.
Are you looking for a stud?
Because I've already got the STD, all I need is you.
- Wow. - Wow, that was awful.
- Okay, thank you.
- But, I'm gonna say yes. - Oh, thank you so much.
- Okay, go for it. - Fantastic.
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26 - Hey.
- And I'm the only one that's still on a song with
Trippy Red, Rick Ross and Lil Baby.
- I don't know who any of them are.
(all jeer)
- No, wait, hold on, no, no, no, no.
- I'm a Macfly fans.
(all jeer)
- No, no, how is that possible? That's impossible.
There's no way.
- Hello, I'm Harry, I'm 23. - Hey.
- Girl, you've got more legs than a bucket of chicken.
- Bye. - Oh, okay.
- Why is everyone talking about my height?
I'm not that tall.
Are you gonna talk about my height?
- No, definitely not. - Okay, good.
- Hi, I'm Steven, I'm 24.
Have you been baking biscuits?
Because you just made this ginger nut.
(all laugh)
- Bye, you missed me with that.
- Hello, I'm Callem. - Hi.
- I'm 27 and I have some Tinder reviews
I wanna read out to you.
- Go for it.
- For once, I actually reached orgasm
after meeting someone on Tinder, he's something special.
His tongue feels like it's six inches long,
such a crazy sensation, must try.
And if he was a restaurant,
I would eat there at least twice a week, nine out of 10.
That's from Georgia.
- Okay, aren't you meant to be
saying something nice about me? Not you.
(all jeer)
- Oh jeez, damn.
- Me again. - Hey, Toby.
- Back to give you a second chance.
- A second chance? - Yes.
- Okay, have you got another line for me
or was that kind of it?
- Just get saved, just get saved really.
- I'm good, thank you. - Oh, damn.
- You turned Jesus down twice.
- Hi, I'm Roxy, from the channel Roxxsaurus.
I'm 23 and I'm from Oxfordshire.
- Hi, I'm Vik, I'm 24 and abstain didn't kill himself.
- Oh. - All right.
- I'm gonna go left.
- I'm Ethan, I'm 24.
You've already got 4 million subscribers,
please swipe right, I want it by the end of the year.
- Okay, swipe right.
- Hi, I'm Toby
and I'm actually late for a job in the view so,
I'm gonna have to. - Okay, bye, good luck.
- [Toby] Thank you.
- What the? Oh, he's just gone.
- He's gone. - Oh, he's actually gone.
Brilliant.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
You have more subscribers than me.
I'm just a daddy looking for a sugar mommy.
- Honest, I love the honesty.
I think I'm gonna go left though.
- Hi, I'm Callum. - Hi.
- I'm 25, and I've got a flatmate
that can sort you 60 quid for a gramme.
- I like your humour,
so I'm gonna go right. - Thank you.
- Hi, I'm Steven, I know how to please a lady.
In fact, the only youtuber that goes down more than me
is AnEsonGib.
(all laugh)
- Swipe left. - You do him like that, why?
- Not in Tinder.
- Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27 and I like to practise safe sex.
I could tie you to the bed, so you don't fall off.
- I like your joke, so I'll go right.
- Yeah. - Pretty close.
- Hello, I'm Harry, I'm 23.
Is your mother a beaver, 'cause damn.
- You actually had to read that from a notebook?
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna say no, sorry.
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26.
And chicken is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.
Wanna know what my first is? Your pussy.
- I'm vegan, so no.
- Man, is your pussy vegan? - Sorry.
- I'm Callum, I'm 27.
This is gonna sound really weird, I'm sorry.
But, I really need to have sex with you,
it's the only way that will stop me from going to jail.
- No, I'm sorry.
(guys laugh)
- Oh, he's back, he's back. - He's back.
- How did your job interview go?
- I'm Toby, I'm 26 and I've got the job.
(all cheer)
- Swipe right.
(all cheer)
- Hi, my name's Shadey, I'm 26 and I'm from London.
- Hi, I'm Callem, and we're currently stood
in order of penis size, biggest to smallest.
- That's a lie, no.
- That's a lie.
- Hi, I'm Ethan, 24, Shady, please bang my lovely penis.
- Tee young way.
- Damn. - Wow.
- Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27.
And do you like rich and well Hyundais?
- I do, that's why I'm not gonna go for you.
- Good luck then, good luck.
(all laugh)
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26.
And are you from Tennessee?
Because I wanna put my dick in your ass.
- Oh, oh. - Oh.
- No.
- Well, I gotta try some things, innit?
- Hello, I'm Harry, I'm 22, and you know what they say,
once you go Jew, nothing else will do.
- Yes.
- Yeah, come on. - What!
- My name is Vic, I'm 26 - Hey.
- and I'd like to know,
are you subscribed to the Sideman channel?
- I'm not.
- Swipe left.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
We went to the same sip form.
- Did we? Oh, yes.
- Hi, I'm Steven, I'm 24, KSI is a top 10 single.
There's only one hot single I can see.
- Yes.
(all cheer)
- Thanks guys. - Oh.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25. - Hey.
- And game of rock, paper, scissors is that,
if I win you swipe right. - Cool.
- All right, well on shoot, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah. - All right, ready?
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
But I felt like you cheated there.
Can I go again? Can I go again?
- Yeah, we go again.
- Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
(guys laugh)
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Oh mad, all right let's do it.
(all cheer)
- Destined for greatness, mate, destined for greatness.
- Portfolio over there.
- Vicky, I am 21 from Leicester.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25.
And you've been in a video with Calex,
you've been on a date with Ethan,
how about we just skip the bullshit and fuck.
- Oh, whoa. - Damn.
- Will you take glasses off?
That is, if we fuck, will you take the glasses?
- Yeah, yeah, I'll take them off.
- How do you got what? All right, all right.
Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26.
And if you like small penises, swipe left.
- Wait, oh, just go.
- [JJ] Well.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
If you looking for Netflix and chill, that's not me.
I'm more of that Amazon prime and quality time kind of guy.
- Do you know what? That was actually really smooth.
Well done.
- Yeah, I'm Ethan, I'm 24, but you knew that already.
(all jeer) - oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no.
In front of about five million people.
Bro, I got you.
Oh no, you killed him, man. - I'm sorry.
- Hi Vicky. - Hi.
- How you doing? - I'm good, how are you?
- Good, I'm Callem, I'm 27.
The only reason why you're here is because of me.
- Fucking old, lad. - Oh shit.
- Right. - Yes, come on.
- I'm Simon, I'm 27.
I haven't showered since yesterday
and I haven't liked myself since 2006.
(guys laugh)
- This is a really hard one because,
- I'm on the edge, don't swipe that way.
- Oh God.
- Well, I don't wanna tip you over the edge.
I got a shower at mine so, go on.
- Bang bang.
- Hi, I'm Steven, are you a pimple?
Because I want to pop that puss.
(all laugh)
- I should have pointed, I should have pointed.
- [J.J] You should have pointed yeah, yeah.
- I'm Vic, I'm 24.
And you let Callus control your tinder for 24 hours.
Should we do that again?
- That doesn't make sense.
- This is tinder, so. - How are you controlling it?
- Yeah, how are you controlling it?
- Can we let Callus control it again?
- Oh. - Oh, oh, what?
- Can you let Callus control your tinder?
- What? Does he say yes or no? Go on then.
- Oh no.
- I'm right on this, I'm right on this.
- I appreciate everything that you've done today
and you're a good friend of mine.
But, she's mine. - oh, damn.
- Can't argue with that.
- Oh, that's new. - Hi, I'm Toby,
I'm 26 and I ride a scooter to work.
Do you wanna touch my helmet?
- Oh, oh, I was gonna say that's really cute.
That's not cute, you made me do it.
- Hello, I'm Harry, I'm 22.
Are you into fitness? - Yeah.
- How about you fit this dick in your mouth.
(guys laugh)
- Oh my God.
- I like the props. - Thank you.
- Don't like your shoes, nice smile.
Yeah, go on then.
(all cheer)
- Hello, I'm Alice, I'm 28 and I'm from London.
- I'm Ethan, I'm 24.
If my SIM and your SIM we're alone in the room together,
I'd make them bluetooth.
- I wanna say no, there you go.
No, but like, right - It's fine, no, it's fine.
- You're a little bit ginger,
and so I'm I and you can't, no, it's an unwritten rule.
- Well, we'd just make a nice baby, goals.
- Right, sorry.
- It's gonna be the best that I do, to be fair.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
Marriel is red, Sonic is blue.
Can you swipe right, and be my player too?
- Yeah, I feel like your sensible and you'd help me in life.
You know what I mean, like help me with my taxes and shit.
(all laugh)
How dare you run?
- Hi, I'm Toby, I'm 26 and I'm at your service.
- I think I'm gonna say yes.
I like the accent you have. - Thank you.
- The white gloves are creepy but.
- Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27.
L's the which, more like L's the bitch.
- Right. - oh, no, no, damn.
- No, I'm gonna say yes
'cause that's literally the reason why
Monet claims the word, so.
- Do your research boys. - Yes.
- Do your research. - I do.
- Hello. - I know you.
Hey, I'm JJ, I'm 26. - Hey.
- And all you a raising? Because you're raising my dick.
- What the fuck! You go there, that was shit, it was shit.
- Oh, come on. - It was shit.
- You've had a bad day, you know.
- Fuck. - Has no one said yes?
- A couple. - I had one.
- Hello. - Hi, I'm Callem, I'm 27.
And kiss me if I'm wrong, but you're gonna swipe right?
- No, I'm not
Why are you still staring at me?
(all laugh)
I said no, but you seem quite sweet, so I'm unsure.
- Kiss me if I'm wrong, but you're going to swipe right?
- Is this a riddle or something? I just don't get it.
Oh, shit, I'm not gonna kiss you, so you can go that way.
(all laugh)
- You're sure? - Positive.
- Hello. - My name is Vik, I'm 24.
They say it's good to have things in common.
I also click bait care site reviews, so.
(all jeer)
- Well done.
I was gonna say no because you seem like really sweet
and that was like my thing but,
you're not sweet anymore, so. - That's fare enough.
- I didn't say what I was.
I'm gonna go yes 'cause I feel like, yeah.
You impress me. - Thank you.
- Yeah.
Why have you got a notepad?
- Well, it's got my pick-up lines, all right.
- It's upside down.
- If you were a flower, you'd be a damndilime.
(all laugh) - Right.
This way, yeah, I think. - Oh, I fucked up.
- Hi. - Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25.
and I have a picture of my dog.
If you find him cute, will you swipe right?
What's the picture gonna be?
- I'll show you, it's of my dog.
- Yeah, I like dogs. - Thank you.
- Yeah, you can go that way. - Oh, thank you.
- Why were you so timid? You were so like timid, hello.
Is that a thing, wait? Is that your dog?
Is that actually your dog?
- There's a long story, but I love the dog.
- No, go, lies, it's not your dog.
(all jeer)
Who's dog is it? - It's a family dog.
It's our dog, it's our dog.
- Why did you lie? - It's our dog.
- It's Harry's dog. - It's Harry's.
- Can I stand in the middle?
- Who's dog is it?
- It's our dog. - Harry's dog.
- It was kidnapped and robbed and taken from us.
Surely, that counts as my dog.
- But, you just lied and it's like,
that's not a good start to a relationship.
- Well, can I go in the middle?
- No, you can try again, after him if you want.
But, you need to think of another lie.
- Okay, okay, well, yeah, yeah go ahead, go ahead Steve.
- Okay, well, you researched? He's like googling.
Google pickup lines.
(all laugh)
- Fuck it, I'm staying on this side.
Yes Josh, come on. - Do fit right, okay, cool.
- Hi, I'm Steven, I'm 24.
I thought pancake day was yesterday.
(all jeer)
I got told it is funny, but.
- Well, who told you that was funny?
- Oh my mate, Max.
(all laugh)
He's got a big house to be fair.
- Right, yeah, you can stay over there.
- Thank you.
- Hello, hello, I'm Kiera, I'm 19 and I'm from London.
- Hi, I'm Toby. - Hello.
I'm 26 and I might be a chauffeur,
but you're driving me crazy.
- Oh really? I'm really sorry.
- It's a good thing, it's not a bad thing, don't apologise.
- I will speak to my therapist about it, I'm sorry.
- Okay, where are we going with this?
- Probably not, I feel kind of bad.
- Do you want me that way? - Yeah, that way.
- Unless you wanna be my personal driver.
- Sure. - Really?
- Yeah.
- Okay, sure.
- I'll look in next guys, go on, go on.
- Women just look for benefits in men, you know.
- Yes. - Holy shit.
- Hi, I'm Callem, I'm 27.
And what's the biggest difference
between me and your ex boyfriend Morgues?
- There's a lot.
- I used to be cancerous and he still is.
- Oh my God, oh my God.
- I had Leukaemia. - Yeah, I know.
Yeah, you're not anymore, so, yeah that's good.
Yeah, I've never heard that before.
- Swipe right for cancer? - Yes.
- Thank you.
- My name's Vik, I'm 24 and I was only the second
most subscribed youtuber from Sheffield behind Morgues.
But, at least I'm not a prick.
- Honestly, I feel like anything better than that
gets a yes. - Cool.
- Yeah, sick. - She's on to you.
- Oh, excuse me, I think I dropped something.
- Yes. - My jaw.
(all laugh)
- It's still there. - Okay.
- Yeah, yeah. - Well, it's a yeah, or?
- What the fuck you doing?
- No, sorry, that's a little weak.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?
'Cause you look like a snack?
- That wasn't my intention to lool like food today.
I don't really know if that's a compliment.
Your kinda old. - Yeah, yeah.
(all jeer)
Okay, okay, we're going there? - Sorry.
- How's is it in there, Josh?
- He's older than me. - You look great.
- Hi, we're a perfect match.
'Cause I like being pegged,
and I know you've fucked an asshole before.
- Oh, gosh. - Damn.
- Go on.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25.
I heard you used to date Morgues.
So, you clearly have a shit taste in men.
I think we'd get along.
- I feel like maybe
the standards have gone up a little bit since.
I've learned my lesson so, probably not, I'm sorry.
- I'm JJ, I'm 20. - Hello.
- I just said hello, take him back.
- If you just wanna click unpause.
Just click unpause, yeah. - I forgot.
- Yeah. - What button is it?
- Unpause, just click the pause button, yeah.
- I don't know if I want to.
- That's fair, that's fair.
- It's like, if I unpause him can he go over there?
- Do not, let him just stay there.
He will stay there.
- So, if I don't do it he just stays there?
- Yeah.
- Let me just carry on, let me just carry on.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh should I keep this?
- Bye.
- Why did you move him that side?
- He's just facing the wall. - There you go.
- It's the same remote.
- Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 25 and I can make sure
your link is at the top of the description.
- That's actually really nice but my dog's called Simon.
I think that's kinda weird.
(all laugh)
It's a dog name.
- You could have said anything else.
- I don't have anything else, that's what I got.
- So, I have to go this way? - I think so.
- Imma get called a dog from now, ain't I?
- He's a nice dog.
- I'm Ethan, 24.
You new boyfriend's ginger, got a shit trim
and he can't grow a beard.
- Hello.
- I'm not really like into gingers
but I'll make an exception.
You don't have enough subscribers.
(all jeer)
I'm sorry.
- I got you bro, bring you over here.
- It's fine.
- Hi, I'm Tom, I'm 24.
And I can make sure your name's
at the top of the description. - Oh yeah, sure.
(all cheer)
- Hi, I'm Millie, I'm 19 and I'm from Manchester.
Hi, I'm Ethan, I'm 24.
I could be your Ben Morris,
but I'll actually admit I've got feelings for you.
- Oh my God. - What, oh.
- Oh, okay, ah, just out of respect,
I'm gonna have to slide this way.
- Can you just press play at him please.
- This button, okay, play.
- I'm 26 and.
(all laugh)
What the! Where's Keira?
- Come on, come on here.
- Hi. - Okay.
- Hi, I'm J.J, I'm 26, and do you have pet insurance?
- I don't think I do.
- Well, you should get some
because I'm about to bang that pussy up.
- Can you pause him again using that remote?
- Oh, wait, oh, thank God.
- No, please, please, please. - Pause.
How long does he stay like that for?
Oh, okay, nice.
Can we bend the remote?
- Yeah, that's it, yeah.
- My name is Vic, I'm 24,
and I think I recognise you from somewhere.
Wait, I had your mom twerking with my rupees.
- You can't talk about my mum like that.
I'm gonna have to swipe left.
- Hi, I'm Steven, I'm 24, should I give you my best line?
- Go for it. - Kent or kunk.
- Which one's left and which one's right?
- I don't know, that's right.
- Go left, so.
- Harry, here you go.
- It looks real, my bad, it's actually real.
- Can you take that off him, bro, do that.
- It's just sugar. - I know, I know.
- The name's Brown, Toby Brown.
- Nice to meet you, the names Millie, Millie Dee.
(all laugh)
I'm gonna go left for that one, nice one though.
- I ran out with suit jokes, I'm not gonna lie.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
If I had to pick between you and Messi in a FIFA draught,
I'd still pick you.
- Oh, okay, you're right.
- Hi. I'm Callum, I'm 25.
And if we were to get together,
our love wouldn't be any faker than your tits.
- I was waiting for, okay, okay, there.
I was waiting for that. - Thank you.
- Oh no, he's got a book.
- Oh, you owe me a drink.
You're so ugly, I dropped mine when I saw you.
- What did you drop? Oh, it's a water, oh, okay.
See, you know, I'm gonna go right
'cause you'd be my dealer and boyfriend in one.
- Hello, I'm Callem, I'm 27.
And I actually just learned that you have fake tits,
I didn't know that before.
I've never tried them before, tonight?
- Tonight? Oh, I'm gonna have to go left for that one
I'm afraid.
- Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27 and you can call me Gillette
'cause I'm the best a man can get and I might cut you.
- Okay, well, I think you and Toby are cute.
So, I'm gonna have to go left.
But, I think that you're cuter, oh, wait, that's right.
(guys jeer)
- No, recovery position, recovery position,
recovery position, recovery position.
Bend his leg.
- Unpause, someone unpause him, someone unpause.
- Fucking now what just happened?
- He's dead, Simon's dead.
- Why is Simon? - Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it. - What just happened?
I'm so confused.
- You know, at least a yes from her, mate.
- Yeah, fuck it.
- [Toby] Was it worth it?
- What did it cost? - What did it cost?
Yeah, that's the one.
- Hi, I'm Alexis, I'm 20 and I'm from Essex.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
Twinkle twinkle little star, let's have sex inside my car.
- Fuck's sake. - Oh fuck.
- No, I was expecting something better.
- Hi, I'm Callem, I'm 27.
Here's my booking for Newbies tonight
for us to do at 9:30.
If you just put your number in there
I'll stand over here and I'll see you at 9:30.
- Oh yeah, go on then. - I'm serious.
- Oh, oh. - Oh my, oh man.
- Just tuck it, I'm a good catch.
- Are you sure.
(guys clap)
- I didn't even get that.
So, I just throw it?
- I'm Simon, I'm 27.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
all I wanna know is what that mouth do.
- I don't think I wanna show you, so left.
- So bad.
- My name's Vik, I'm 24 and I'm a Minecraft millionaire.
- It doesn't really phase me, so.
- I'm Ethan, I'm 24 and I'll become a
5,000 pound a month patron if you swipe right.
- I'll get so much into that case, okay, so, yeah, go.
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26, and are you at school?
'Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside.
- Oh jeez. - Oh.
- You started real so, I'll give it to you, yeah, go ahead.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25
and in the most respectful way possible
can I please pork your meat wallet?
- Nah, sorry.
- What is that? - I don't know where
I was going with it.
- Hi, I'm Steven, I'm 24.
You know what they say, good things come in small packages
and I wanna come in your little box.
- He said that. - He's been honest.
- She's giving him honest. - She's thinking about it.
- Yeah, no, you look like you have a small package, sorry.
- Hi, I'm Toby, I'm 26 and oh, fuck, sorry,
I've ran out of lines, fucks sake man, Harry.
- What have I done, what? - Oh, it was a joke joke.
- Hello, I'm Harry, I'm 22.
Did you sit on the F5 key? 'Cause your ass is refreshing.
- Yeah, go on then. - Yeah, yeah.
- That's right.
- Hi, My name's Emma or Emz, I'm 23 and I'm from London.
- Hi, I'm Toby, I'm 26 and I'm destined for greatness.
- Oh, nice. - Nice, good plug.
- My name's Ethan, I'm 24
and I've got really cool trick shot, can I show you that?
- A really cool trick shot? Go on then.
That was only a 360, I'm kind of like
a bit ashamed of that, so no.
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26 and,
what was it like falling from heaven? Did it hurt?
Falling on your face?
- You're kinda slacky you know, have you seen your hair?
(guys jeer)
- No, no, no, no, pull on that, pause.
My hair's sick fam, what?
- I don't know, you may need to get haircut, I don't know.
I'm not a big fan of it.
- I could change the colour and make it sick.
- No, it's kinda looking a bit like noodles.
- Noodles? - Kind of not loving it.
- Sick, all right.
- He's already dead. - No, I'm all in.
- My name's Vik, I'm 24.
I don't mean to brag but last week
I got a three minute tactical nuke on Modern Warfare.
Hashtag called partner.
(guys laugh)
- That's cool, I actually saw you at the code event.
Kind of just didn't wanna say hi to ya.
But, I haven't got a nuke yet
but, I hit probably more clicks than you will ever do, so.
- I'll give you that.
- I'm Simon, I'm 27, and do you prefer daisies or roses?
- Roses?
- Okay, now I know what to spot on your casket
when I murder that pussy.
- No. - Oh no.
- Oh my days.
- Hi, I'm Callum and I'm 20, actually no,
you're not really my type anyway.
- Mate, what are you wearing? You're not my type either.
- Damn. - Oh my God.
- Callum. - There's ice in his veins.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
I left my pipe line in your overgrown ambush
and leave a shipment of wet work all over your face.
- Oh, Jesus Christ. - No, no, just no.
Very good maps, but no, I'm sorry.
- Not the OG, the founding father.
- No, you make me feel bad.
- Hello, I'm Harry, I'm 22.
Are you a mild yellow cheese
originating from the Netherlands?
Because you were looking gooda tonight.
- What on earth was that? I'm sorry.
- I told you, go on Tobs.
- Hi, I'm Steven, are you unintended way?
'Cause I'll turn you on once and then put you in the loft.
- Jesus Christ, no, don't like the way, trash console.
- Go Cal.
- Hi, I'm Callem, I'm 27 and, I don't have a pickup line
but, I'm a really nice guy and the rest of them are taken.
I'm the only one single here.
- Go on then. - Thank you.
- Go on, take it. - What's that?
- Go on then, go on.
- Oh yes, yes.
- Do you know what? You go there as well.
- Yeah.
- I play a way cooler G.
- Do you though?
- I got that care package kill.
- Do you know what, I haven't seen it.
- Don't do it. - Don't do it.
- It's all right, man.
- Wait, fuck off.
- Hi, I'm Sweet Anita, I have Tourette syndrome.
I'm from the Southwest and I'm 29.
- I'm Ethan, I'm 24.
And I'd like to wreck you ride my face.
- Go suck a dick.
Which ones, yes, that one.
- Yes, all right. - Love that.
- Fuck off.
Hi. - You're so fluffy.
- I'm Toby, I'm 26, and I'm looking for a girl who ticks
all my boxes.
- All right, yeah, I'm a hoe.
Breakfast, do you like breakfast?
- I do. - Wow.
- Hello, my name's Callem, I'm 27 and let's play a game.
You're next tick decides what we do tonight.
- Nope.
Get out, oh, it's okay, it's okay.
- Hello, I'm Harry. - Get out.
- Look, I'm 22, if you were a fruit, you'd be a fine apple.
- Fuck off.
- If you were a vegetable, I turned your love spot off.
- No. - No, okay, cool.
- My name's Vik, I'm 24
and I'm wearing a bucket hat from Seidmanclothing.com.
Would you like one?
- What a sellout, no.
(guys laugh)
- Oh my God. - Oh my God.
- Hi, I'm JJ, I'm 26.
What's the chances of my balls slapping your ass tonight?
- All right, no, get out.
What a slut, bend over, do it again.
- I don't know if this is a tick.
- I love how you don't know but, you still do it.
- Hi, I'm Callum, I'm 25 and you might not be Jesus.
But, I'd still fuck the shit out of you.
- Nah, I'm good, thanks.
- I fucked up the line.
- Whoa. - Hi, I'm Simon, I'm 27.
And the only thing that should stand
between our love, is latex.
- No, I like it, he's safe.
- Hi, I'm Steven, and I'm a man of great taste
according to my uncle.
- Wow, all right, oh, I caught it, good, I'm good.
But you're not, get out.
- Fuck me.
- Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 27.
- I wouldn't say that.
- And I'll gift you 20 subs, if you say yes.
- Yeah, let's go. - Yeeey.
- [Anita] Breakfast.
- Crazy. - Whoa.
♪ And I'm back like I never left ♪
♪ Take me to church yeah lemme confess ♪
♪ Last year I had a lot on my mind ♪
♪ Like Tony Stark couldn't get it off my chest ♪
♪ But now I'm back to back I'm ory ♪
♪ Reborn yeah everything blessed ♪
♪ Bring the ashes brings a new story ♪
♪ Sure don't tell imma ace this test ♪
♪ Last year 100k on the Ad Sense ♪
♪ Your channel aint even got ads yet ♪
♪ Now I'm suited up like I'm ♪

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